Craigslist is great for finding a used bike or cheap tickets to the ballgame. Oh, and also for posting pictures of your genitals and telling the world that you're a "bottom. If you're confused, you've probably never checked out hookup "Casual Encounters" link in the Personals section of Craigslist.
And don't worry, for your emotional health, we've excluded the listings that feature stranger junk. Quote: "Submissive bottom here looking for one or more aggressive guys to come by late tonight or early morning.
I'm staying at the Bensalem Hampton Inn. Room door will be unlocked and I'll be asleep. Just walk in, drop your shorts and bury your dick in my jock-strapped ass. Safe play only! What We Can Assume: This is pretty cut and dry. We have a submissive bottom, who wants one or more guys to enter his hotel https://oliphant.info/dating-on-earth-wiki.php and sodomize him while pretending that the act is actually being carried out by force. Thanks to the torso picture we also know that this fellow seems to be somewhat athletic, which may explain why he sleeps in a jockstrap.
Craigslist could easily be one creative man setting up another man for an unexpected ass raping. Where It Went Wrong: Unlike some of the other solicitations featured, we are genuinely concerned for this listing's author. Maybe this is prudish, but it seems dangerous to let the world know the exact hotel where you'll be staying, that you plan on leaving the door open and that you expect to be brutalized. Not everyone is into rape. Some people are more into robbery and gay bashing. It's also possible that this is one of the cruelest pranks ever perpetrated using the Hookup.
Quote: "tomarow weekend! What We Can Assume: That whatever educational institutions this man has attended have failed him. Any attempt to read this listing will confound even the most skilled codebreaker.
However, we can glean from the photos that the author has studied a martial art, wears a referee jersey while tending to small children and competes stories bicycle races. It doesn't seem like much of a stretch stories speculate that his craigslist is just barely out of the frame of the bicycle race, having just let go of the seat of his bicycle. Where It Went Wrong: Just click for source do you start?
First off, any "clein" woman looking for a hook up needs to understand this strange secret language to communicate her interest. For regular human females, the logistics of using craigslist to set up a place to rendezvous with a hookup who has no grasp of the written word or any understanding of basic syntax will seem daunting.
And, if that's not enough to scare them off, he mentions tonight, "tomarow" and the weekend as times he's available. Sounds like our little buddy here isn't the most popular mental defective in Houston. Quote: "Thanks for reading this post. I am a well built and drug free gentleman with a strong sexual drive.
Hookup have a desire to be with an expecting mother Pregnant and want to make this fantasy come true. There is something so beautiful about pregnant women and I would love nothing more than to please one. I play no games and ask that you do the same.
He opens by offering thanks for reading his listing and signs off with "sincerely" just to let you know that he's not kidding about wanting some pregger's poontang. He does mention that he plays no games, which probably means breast-pump bingo is out of the question.
From the photos, we can also note that while not chasing women with child, Damion hangs out in abandoned train yards and old water-damaged barns. Where It Went Wrong: Clearly, the photos are pretty damning.
Had Damion went with a single photo, one might think, "Weird, he looks kinda gay. They've got enough problems without introducing a sexually-confused lover into the mix. Also, "I am also a massage therapist" is doing Damion no favors. Roughly three out of five guys who post attest to being massage therapists. Basically, it's code for, "I promise to provide half-assed foreplay before wanting to bang.
She probably doesn't need the heaping second helping of mommy issues this guy's clearly bringing to the table. Desired Demo: Age and body type have intriguingly not been specified.
Quote: "im a 23 male brown hair blue eyes 5'11 lbs attractive athletic and im looking for a woman to have drinks tonight and mabey do a lil oral play in the car i love to eat pussy email or im me on yahoo at garglemygoods craigslist have more pics ill buy the drinks NO MEN".
What We Can Assume: By leading with all physical attributes including age, hair and eye color, height, weight and the description "attractive athletic," we know this stories is proud of what he looks like. The fact that he wants to meet up for a drink and exchange oral sex in a car, well, that leads one to believe that he probably lives with someone.
If it's a girlfriend or wife, that's one thing. If it's his parents, that's kind of sad, plus it might mean the car he's proposing to make out in is owned by his folks. If any bodily fluids are spilled, be prepared to be handed a Wet- Nap. Meanwhile, he click forgets to give any sort of indication about what type of woman he's looking for, which stories off the impression that he'll pretty much let anybody gargle his goods.
The fact that he spells maybe, "mabey" not craigslist, but twice is hookup somewhat troubling. Desired Demo: Women who like their sexual organs to be treated like the African monkey trap. Quote: "Experienced gentleman with smaller hands, looking for a woman who enjoys being fisted If you've been there and done it, you already know and understand what's written below What We Can Assume: What follows that quote hookup about words describing "fisting" in extreme detail You can click on the pic for the full ad, if you must.
The verve he uses when rolling out the numbered steps of the process makes it evident that this guy will approach a possible encounter like some sort of demented camp counselor demonstrating macrame. More than likely, it's not the type of experience she wants to have just so she can share the story at the watercooler with her fisting-enthusiast co-workers.
Also, he might want to edit the tidbit about it taking " days for vagina to return craigslist original state. Don't be a chicken. Quote: "i am submissive cd willing to please. I have rented a residence in North Vegas, off Top 5 dating sites street.
If interested please email me for a appointment.
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I am very willing to please you. Additionally, it's been indicated that our cross-dresser lives in North Vegas. And while everyone knows what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, few are familiar with the North Vegas slogan, which is: What happens in North Vegas will haunt your dreams forever.
Where It Went Wrong: For someone who's not into female impersonators, there is so much wrong here. But even if that is your cup of tea, you've got to be taken aback by the doll photo. That's some crazy serial-killer stuff right there. Combine that with the freaky flowers-and-curls wig and any sensible person answering this listing would have to be at least a little worried about ending up in a craigslist.
Quote: "I'll provide the rugged good looks and the high metabolism. You provide the cute and cuddly. Not looking for a one-night thing. I want all of the winter or when one of us finds someone better, whichever comes first.
2. Lesson learned.
I won't have sex with you. I'm saving it. Cuddles is probably in the wrong section, because he's looking for more than a one-time thing and he's ardent in his declaration that there will be no sex. We can also assume that he doesn't have adequate heat in his home, as his winter-term relationship seems to involve you becoming his human space heater. You've got a picture of kittens, you've asserted that you're a year-old virgin and the best descriptions you can come up with for yourself is that you have a "high metabolism?
Cuddles, but stories should consider eHarmony. If there's stories ass play or misguided fantasy involved, Craigslist Casual Encounters has no use for you. Desired Demo: Women who want to be manhandled by a lover with a questionable sense of style.
The 10 Creepiest Craigslist Casual Encounters
Quote: "This is a recent craigslist of me taken four weeks ago Vanilla women is out of the question and I only do KINK women that have a drive and a need to be controlled and in a submissive relationship. I am DOM in a good way, I am not a beater, yell or threaten - craigslist male relationships best dating site for serious to that, we call them stories holes.
A true DOM knows how to control by asking once and can give you a look that will melt you in one second. What We Can Assume: This guy likes to be in control. He knows what he wants and he's confident in his ability to melt flavors hookup than vanilla with a look that has been clocked at one second.
Unfortunately, honing this incredible melting stare power has kept him from having time to get to the mall. Our best estimates track this tie to the Structure's spring collection. Where It Went Wrong: In stories first line where he reveals that it's a recent picture of him. He may not be what we And divorced hookups exist? "ass holes," but his pose and choice of neck wear are clearly giving off a heavy vibe of dork.
And, it's not the sweet helpless sort stories dork either. We're guessing that the annoying repeated capping of "DOM" is an indication our friend is desperate to act out a control fantasy that has something to do with being passed over for a manager position at the hookup store where he's a "professional" cashier. We don't see why a listing that gives off the same bitter vibe he does in person would make his chances any better. Quote: "I'm hookup 33yo male I'm offering ot take you on a cruise to Hawaii expenses paid for with me that is round trip to LA.
It just doesn't happen. So despite all the name calling, feelings of alienation and social discrimination, sometimes it is really, really awesome to be gay, like when you get extended a two-week Hawaiian vacation and cruise for a few hook-ups.